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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27390661">Did You Hear the One About My Eight Hundred Siblings</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Just_here_for_a_laugh/pseuds/Just_here_for_a_laugh'>Just_here_for_a_laugh</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Justice League and the Batfam [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Batman - All Media Types, DCU, Justice League - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Banter, Batfamily (DCU), Batfamily Meets Justice League, Bruce Wayne is a Good Parent, Fluff, Humor, Red Robin, Surprises, Tim Drake is Red Robin, Tired Bruce Wayne</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 19:47:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,841</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27390661</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Just_here_for_a_laugh/pseuds/Just_here_for_a_laugh</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>On a slow day in the Justice League, someone new comes into work with Batman</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Justice League &amp; Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake &amp; Bruce Wayne</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Justice League and the Batfam [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1771513</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>93</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2032</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Did You Hear the One About My Eight Hundred Siblings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had been somewhat of a slow day. No invasions, no crazed CEOs, no nuclear reactors about to blow. All in all Earth was relatively safe, but that didn’t mean that the Justice League had the day off. “Vigilantism requires vigilance” as Batman always said, no matter how many times they pointed out that not all of them were vigilantes. So, on this quiet day, the World’s Finest sat in the Watchtower keeping a lookout for trouble.</p><p><br/>
They were so bored.</p><p><br/>
However, little did they know a bit of downtime can bring about some of the most exciting and earth shattering revelations.</p><p><br/>
The group sat in the lounge. On the couch Green Lantern and the Flash were playing videogames, shouting and laughing loudly despite their proximity to Martian Manhunter, who was sitting in an armchair with a book and insisting he didn’t mind the noise whenever someone barked at the two gaming heroes to show some courtesy. Green Arrow and Aquaman were locked in a heated game of Connect Four along with Black Canary who had come over after Martian Manhunter concluded their game of chess and went to his book. She was mainly watching the two men, amused at their concentration, but she would on occasion make a suggestion or two to help Aquaman much to Green Arrow’s chagrin. Superman was sat at the Tower supercomputer reading the latest news articles and scribbling down notes on various video clips. Wonder Woman was down on Earth accepting an award, and the League had lost track of Batman’s whereabouts hours ago. All in all it was an unremarkable day. That was until they overheard the swoosh of a zeta tube.</p><p><br/>
The heroes initially didn’t pay much attention to the sound. They assumed it was Batman coming back from wherever he had skulked off to, bringing in more of his seemingly unending supply of files to pour over. Even on these slow days he worked incessantly. Green Lantern and Flash had suggested more than once that under the cowl the Bat was actually an android with no need for sleep or enrichment. The others were less convinced, but at times the theory did seem plausible, and so it was no surprise to see him coming and going from the Tower on a day off with more work for himself. What did throw them for a loop was the sound that came after the zeta’s rush.</p><p><br/>
“So I think that he’s really working on some kind of giganto-ultra charged-high tech-super ray that’ll blow up anything it hits into a bunch of ice shards,” a voice said, younger and much more animated than the Bat’s. The Dark Knight himself was still clearly present though as one of his signature grunts of acknowledgement followed the young stranger’s theory. The head of every League member snapped up towards the sounds, frozen in shock and anticipation.</p><p><br/>
As the voice got closer the questions bouncing between the team’s consciousnesses intensified. This couldn’t be an intruder or else Batman would have incapacitated them immediately instead of waltzing them into the Tower. It didn’t make sense for the stranger to be a victim though either; firstly the only way Batman would ever bring anyone to the Watchtower would be if they needed something inside it which he didn’t have on him, and no one could think of anything that could help any injured or frightened person that Batman didn’t already have in that impossibly well stocked utility belt of his. Secondly this person sounded enthusiastic and energetic, not like the victim of some sort of attack. And finally had there been an attack anywhere in the world the League would have been there instead of twiddling their thumbs up in their space clubhouse. This was something else all together, but what?</p><p><br/>
Their questions only multiplied as the stranger stepped into view, following Batman into the room still chattering away. The boy could not have been older than about sixteen and he was wearing some sort of hero suit, red and black with yellow belts crossing his chest and a long black cape flowing behind him. He had a golden insignia on his chest and the top line of his black domino mask nearly disappeared into the wisps of the long dark hair hanging down into his face. Whoever he was he had the superhero aesthetic down pat, though his symbol and motives were entirely unknown to the League members currently gawking at him. Perhaps most confusing and unsettling about this scenario was that Batman seemed entirely unphased. He merely listened to the young man chatter about his ray gun theory, taking a moment to nod a curt greeting to the astounded League before continuing to walk by. Luckily for the team the boy noticed them and stopped. He beamed excitedly and turned to the Bat again.</p><p><br/>
“You didn’t tell me they were going to be here!” he grinned. The boy looked ecstatic as he waved to the group, and Aquaman swore he thought he saw the Bat’s lip twitch upwards for a second as well. “Hi!” the boy said, “Wow it’s really awesome to meet you guys. Big fan all round.” His demeanor relaxed significantly when he saw Superman, and the others suddenly noticed that the Man of Steel did not seem as surprised as they did. “Hey Supes,” chimed the boy and to the rest of the League’s shock Superman answered as familiarly.</p><p><br/>
“Hey kiddo, what’cha doing?”</p><p><br/>
“We’re gonna run a redacted file through the electron topography scanner so we can read it. Hood busted the one in the Cave,” he laughed suddenly. “He nailed it with a batarang trying to hit a spider.” Superman laughed with him.</p><p><br/>
“That sounds about right,” he quipped, making the boy laugh harder. “I thought yall fixed that though.”</p><p><br/>
“Nah,” the boy smiled as he caught his breath, “that was when Nightwing jammed it trying to read a note O scribbled over. He was hoping it was a love note and evidently glitter pens set the system on the fritz. Turned out to be a grocery list anyway and now she won’t let him live it down.” As Superman and the young stranger chuckled about this mysterious gaggle of technologically challenged friends of theirs, Green Arrow became the first of the League to find his voice.</p><p><br/>
“I’m sorry, hold on, what’s happening?” He pointed back and forth between the boy and Superman. “Do you two know each other?” The boy nodded. “How? Are you- or what are- who-” He was mercifully cut off my Martian Manhunter.</p><p><br/>
“Let’s start at the beginning,” he said warmly. “What is your name?”</p><p><br/>
“I’m Red Robin,” the boy answered with a smile, “it’s nice to meet you.”</p><p><br/>
“It is nice to meet you as well. Are you working with Batman on a case of some kind?”</p><p><br/>
“Yeah, we’ve been working on it a couple weeks now but we just got this file.” Aquaman was next to speak.</p><p><br/>
“So, what, you’re like...an intern?” Red Robin laughed.</p><p><br/>
“He wishes.”</p><p><br/>
“I do not,” Batman huffed as the boy grinned. “He’s my son.”</p><p><br/>
The room erupted into chaos.</p><p><br/>
After a few moments the Bat was able to quiet them down enough to have some semblance of an organized conversation.</p><p><br/>
“How could you not tell us you had a kid?” Green Lantern shouted, but he couldn’t help but regret it as he saw the look on the boy’s face.</p><p><br/>
“You didn’t tell them?” he asked the Bat, clearly offended. Batman opened his mouth to explain but quickly closed it, his eyes widening slightly as though with fear. Stunned, that’s when the rest of them noticed Red Robin’s face had changed as well from offence to something darker and sealed with a grin. “Wait,” he purred, “<i>A</i> kid?” He turned around to the group with a look that was almost wolfish, plotting his next strike carefully for maximum impact. “Then I guess he hasn’t told you about the rest of us, has he?”</p><p><br/>
The League’s screaming was only able to be finally silenced by Canary’s.</p><p><br/>
“Let the kid speak,” she chided as they all held their ears. “Now, please, do go on about the rest of your family,” she smiled slyly, casting a glance over at Batman who looked very much as though he was trying to psychically summon an alarm on the warning system to disperse this conversation. He mouthed a soft “why” at her, and despite the fact that his back was to the Bat, Red Robin answered the silent question. Oh yeah, this was Spooky’s kid alright.</p><p><br/>
“Colored bird solidarity, B,” he grinned. Black Canary laughed and Batman just rolled his eyes. Insufferably (if you asked the Dark Knight standing behind him) satisfied with himself, the young vigilante sought to answer the heroine’s question as thoughtfully as he could. “Now, who do you want to know about? The world famous performer? The hacker extraordinaire? The one that glows in the dark? The OTHER one that glows in the dark?”</p><p><br/>
“Signal does not glow in the dark,” Batman cut in wearily.</p><p><br/>
“Uh he did last week,” Red Robin shot back.</p><p><br/>
“Really?” the Bat asked, sounding genuinely surprised.</p><p><br/>
“Yeah, it was so cool. It’s a new thing, he’s not sure how he did it. But enough about that, I’m sure these lovely friends of yours all want to hear more about the rest of Gotham’s finest. How about the trained-by-assassins-trio? Or the MI-6 spy? Or my Punk’s-not-dead-but-you’re-about-to-be sister? Why don’t I tell you guys about my jewel thief stepmother?”</p><p><br/>
“She’s not his stepmother,” Batman interjected gruffly.</p><p><br/>
“She’s about to be,” Red Robin beamed. “Or why don’t we get into the matter of the illegitimate demon love child? Or my brother the crime boss? Or the crime fighting starfish? Though it’s important to point out that he is not part of the menagerie of farm animals that live in their own wing of the mansion.”</p><p><br/>
“Red Robin,” the Bat sighed desperately.</p><p><br/>
“Oh no B, you had your chance to brag on us and you missed it, so now I get to do it.”</p><p><br/>
“He’s got a point you know,” Superman commented, prompting another deep sigh from the Dark Knight.</p><p><br/>
“Shut up.”</p><p><br/>
The entire League, save Batman and Superman, was listening with rapt attention, their shock steadily growing past what they had known was possible, when suddenly the Tower phone rang. Batman, thankful for the reprieve, walked over to answer it.</p><p><br/>
“Hello?” He turned to the rest of the group. “It’s Wonder Woman,” he called out. Instantly he was accosted by a gust of wind and found the phone was no longer in his hand. Flash put it on the table and pushed the button for speaker phone.</p><p><br/>
“Batman has a whole bunch of kids and he brought one of them up to the Tower!” he shouted. The Amazon’s strong voice rang through the receiver out into the room.</p><p><br/>
“Oh wonderful, which one? I know Spoiler has been desperately wanting to visit.”</p><p><br/>
Even the resounding shouts and chaos could not drown out Red Robin’s laugh.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Part 5 of my Batfam meeting the Justice League series. This one is a little shorter and more focused on the fun and humor of it all, which made it really fun to write. I hope you enjoy! I do not own DC Comics or anything associated with it. Happy reading!</p><p>Update: someone suggested I should note who each of the traits listed belong to since some apply to multiple and some people are mentioned more than once, and since I can't figure out footnotes I'm putting them here :)<br/>World famous performer - Dick/ Hacker - Babs/ glow in the dark - Duke &amp; Jason/ trained by assassins trio - Jason Cass and Damian/ MI-6 is Alfred/ Punks-not-dead is Harper/ jewel thief stepmother - Selena/ illegitimate demon love child - Damian/ crime boss - Jason/ starfish - Jarro</p></blockquote></div></div>
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